Fresh Start

Fresh Start pounds

Its been so long since i have posted a blog i have to learn all over again how to.  I have not had much to post about But today i am thankful for a fresh start.  I am tierd all the time, in pain, depressed, something has to change i have to make changes to my thoughts I have always been a all or nothing person i can't seem to find the shades of gray just black and white thank thinking got me here back up to 330 lst night i was given a name of a persones page to check out and i came across this.
Today I tryed to apply this thought in my life and went for a walk i am falling asleep as i type this but the Eat Clean Lifestyle i miss I need to stop giving up when i mess up my goal for right now is to work on portions Thanks for your support Heres to another Frest Start.






Getting Back Up

Hi everyone its been way to long since i have posted,  But i am here now and getting back on my feet its time to start taking baby steps I am back up to 318 pounds but that is ok I have forgive myself for that and understand that it was my doing i still have alot of work ahead of me but my plan is to go about it slow and steady.  I am going to start walking again this week and cut the candy out of my diet.  I am proud to say i have stayed McDonalds and soda free its been over a year now. 

Today i am making the choice to be stronger, happyer, healthyer and live for today I look around and see i have lost sight of all the good in my life and what i have been blessed with its time to start living

Goals for the week of Nov. 7th

walk 30 min
drink 3L of water
Cut Candy out of diet

Up in flames

You never know whats going to happin next in Life

Good morring  yesterday i decared my day was going to be great no matter what if its your mind set that need changing yesterday was the day for me to face anything and boy was i put to the Test you never know when your life well go up in flames. LOL

I had planed for more then a week to  go for the day to work  with my  boyfriend to see if we could work on a few things and just spend time together i got a felling yesterday morring that i was not to make the trip with him I know he would be angry but something was telling me i was to spend the day with my mom.

She was going to the city i tried to tell myself no i had made the plans i need to stick to them and what did i want to go to the city for anyway i didn't have much money to do shopping . After my friend Aillson posted a photo of how great her hair turned out doing at home and the money she had saved. I wanted to get my hair done by my auntie who use to be a hair dresser.

even with the feeling that i had to pick between my boyfriend or my mom that had not ever said i could go with her at that time i picked getting my hair done and spending the day with my auntie and mom.

I ended up forgeting at home the frost & Tip kit to strike my hair just wanting to hide some of the gray i have been getting seeing as i am not big on the whole new roots hair style and dont' get my hair done more then ones every few years.

We picked up my auntie to go buy another kit mom asked me where i wanted to go I said Sallys my auntie said no if we go there i have to mix all the powders myself and its been along time since i did that Just go to Walmart and get it there then it's already to go and your hair has always turned out good when we have used them in the past.

We get to Walmart what the @@#%^ there is no frosting kits what now I am thinking i go home with out my hair done again just then my auntie says oh wait here is one its not the brand we have used before but it should work just as well .  I am thinking ok what ever as long as i get my hair done and feel a little better about the gray's it works for me.

Paid my $12 and went to my aunties house to have her do it just like many times before she  pulls the hair through the cap my mom says i don't know why she is doing this anyway, she should be getting it cut short with as hot as its going to be on out trip to graceland. I have had my hair short before when I was having my daughter just because i was sick of my son throwing up in my long hair and pulling it all the time i didn't need two babys sucking on it and everything else. Then when i was in treatment  the elders belived if you are starting a new Journey in life and are having trouble letting go if your passed you could cutting your hair off to give new lifes but was the only time you  should cut your hair so i got my hair cut again more just in honor of everything they had done for me there.

So yeh right NO WAY i am going to ware braids all summer i just got to wait  45 mins and walla i should have great high lights NOPE not this time after 5 mins I tell my autie ooh shit i think i just got stung by a bee ....there no bee ...i said we must have traped it under the cap because ..ooooh  just then my hair bursts up  smoke rolling off my head  my hair was on fire. 

I am trying to rip the cap off thinking that well make it stop my auntie is freaking out yelling at me got over her we need to wash it off your head.  My mom is watching well talking on the phone in the other room Laughing her butt off Trish hair just cought on fire and my aunties grandaughter Araya her eyes are the size of grapefuits yelling your hair its smoking its on fire.

 ( oh i forgot to tell you Araya was watching the whole thing right from the beging  because she was getting her hair done righ after me she is like 9 years old and she was getting her hair done right after  me she had picked up a frost kit weeks ago that she wanted ) LOL

my hair was falling out left right and center its a huge mess and my head is burnt. Its 8:00 the mall closes at 9 we rush down there to see if i can get this mess fixed.  The hair dresser said no way she had someone coming in a few min i  told her what happend showed her she said I am sure i can't do it,  but if you want to take a sit to make sure my 8:00 show's up you can. 

My auntie is on the cell phone crying that it was her fault .Thank God the 8:00 didn't show its my lucky day or maybe not so lucky the more she looked the more burns and more patches falling out,  well need less to say i well not be putting my hair in braids this summer like all the others years en she was done cuting it if i wated any treatments in it NO I THINK I AM DONE WITH THAT TONIGHT

I guess some things are just ment to happen my head is a little sore but i did learn that it was ok to LOL at yourself i told my mom i am glad i could make her LOL and I was thinking about my friend Amanda and her cucumber hair the other  night after the top blow off her blender when she was making a green smoothie if it was not for her post telling us it was ok to laugh at your self i would have been crying for sure

I still love you Auntie Melinda LOL

My day ended with me a  little lighter, a few burns that well go away in a few days, a family that had a great laugh, my $12 back from Walmart that i end up using towards the hair cut and a lesson in life that its ok to be happy even if it comes from laughing at yourself thanks amanda. I well post a photo of the aftermath as soon as i get one.

The Light Bulb

Who runs the magical light bulb of life because i pay my power bill each month and mine is not working


Good morring i hope you are having a great day, I know i am i just wake up at 3:30 am gasping for air trust me it was not pretty but once i got my breath again i have declared this a great day because i have another day to spend with my children and loved ones and once again another chance to change my life style. oh and by the way this is my second time typing out this post the computer desided it was a good idea to up date but i figure anything worth saying is worth saying it twice.

I have spent the last 35 years ( more like 20) but you get the point looking for this dam light bulb moment people talk about where Life just makes since some days i think i look so hard i feel like i am doing a where is waldo book with my kids and have give up,  lost my chance at the magical light bulb moment.

Well i am sick and  tierd litraly from waiting for it there is no magic light bulb it's just me and the only light bulb i have been running on is a energy efficient  one. you know when you realy think about it each and every day we all have turned off the light turned it back on give the kids shit for not turning the light off

well what do we have to do each and every time we want light we have to get off are ass and flip the swich life is the same way if we want light we have to turn power on to it flip the swich by just doing it we dont think twice when we want our lights on we just do it think nothing of it when we start the next day we turn the lights on and off all over again. so our light is going to go one and off  or it well burn out what ever comes first that is just life .

and magic monday what's that all about who deamed monday the majic day. a great friend of mine asked me to do a test for her do just 30 lungs for her and add just 5 a day for one week till i got to 60 and see how just in one week how much stronger you can get , but me i keep putting it off till monday then next monday because you know everything starts on monday hell no monday is no more special then any of the other 7 days in a week  tuesday to tuesday is still a dam week. There is no magic monday so the excuse of i messed up today i well start on monday again what happens to all that time in between that we just give up on. 

I well tell you with me its just wasted gone nothing done with it but the time keeps moving even if we dont about three months ago i found out my mom was taking me on a trip of a life time driving with my auntie who has downs and lives life every day to her dream place in life Graceland going down one side of the usa and coming home on the other a trip of a life time for me and my kids so what have i done in the past 3 month sat on my butt had two heart svt's and layed around feeling sorry for myself that my life was not easyer.  and the only thing that got me, is two scard kids that are wondering if mom is going to be able to fit on the rides in Disneyland and if i do can my heart handle it and not have another svt.

I know better then that i am waiting for life to get easyer as my life pass me by i know 100% that you can do amazing things in just 3 month i have done it before i lost 40 pounds in my first three month eating clean and getting active and it was not easy but i loved it and the feel i got from living so why do we give up on the things we love. why in the world are we afraid of being happy its the best feeling in the world and its within our control.

I don't have to wait till i get time to clean out the cuboard , cook up clean food for a week, have enough money to buy new food, get a gym membership, find a diet bubby or buy a journel i just need to deside to turn the power on and start living. I wish you all a world of happniss, health and strengh for the hard times.

 know you well wast more days in life and you well sit on the couch every now and then but its ok we deside if we want the lights on or off in life with all that said i am getting of my butt to go to turn on my light even if its just for today if thats what i deside the its up to me no one else can control my switch of life. my uuuhhh now i get it moment i pick when it happence. and so do you.

Just passing it along

Hi everyone its like 2am and i can't sleep so i was looking at some friends Blogs and came across this one I loved it.  I just wanted to shair it because its right to the point in your face True. ( at least in my case )

http://gititgirlaz.blogspot.com/2011/06/no-sympathy-for-your-excuses.html#comment-form


Hope you all like it as much as i do. and Thanks again Git it Girl for posting it for all of us.  I hope each and everyone of you find health and happiness on your journey have a wonderful day.

The Forgotten Blog

Wow it's been so long since i made a post on my blog i almost forgot i had started it or maybe i was trying to forget i started it you see i enjoy posting good news not the i am sitting on my ass not doing anything news so there has really not been much to wright about. 

As wonderful as i was feeling in the end of 2010 and start of 2011 i have almost givin up on myself and for no reason other then that is what i am use to doing for the last 35 years not pushing myself throw the hard times to get what i really deserve happiness and Health. 

Yesterday i was asked if i noticed a bounce when i walked the emotion i had was instand sadness because i don't but i did.  I remeber the feeling of being proud of myself happy i was finaly doing something with my life making great changes. In the last few months i treaded that wonderful feeling for nothing other then pain , sickness, and regreat.

I have not had that wonderful bounce to my walk because i have not been taking care of myself i have coasted along on peoples comments of how great i look with all the weight i have lost but the truth is i have gained. 

I had lost 60 pounds but have put ten back on and that 10 pounds just ten has made my hands and feet puffy and uncomforable, my beathing harder, my moods get back on the rollercoaster i have spent my life on.  my movements slower my sleep less. my happiness gone once again.

I have slipped back into my old traps and mind set but i don't have to stay here i have the right to say no more i want that better happer me and get off my butt and once again see for myself the life you gain throw eating clean and taking care of your self.

Loving my pool time

So today i got a look at the old me. Sleeping in going throw drive throw slacking at the pool, Just a wast of the day but then i steped back and asked myself is this realy what i want to be doing and why was i doing it.  Knowing i didn't want to end up right back where i started i got up and went back to the pool seeing as the first time i was just wasting time.  I had a great work out and feel awsome I was told today i am going from a food addict to a water addict if i am not drinking it i am swiming in it.  And that is one addiction i can handle having.

I want to go back to the pool right now but its closed lol Today the lifeguards where talking behind my back and for the first time in my life it was a good feeling they where talkiing about how much more i can do now then when i started. It was a great feeling and i can't even swim thank god you dont have to for water fit.